Journaling

Well if this doesn't describle me perfectly, I don't know what does.

For the past few weeks (months really) I have been thinking and thinking and thinking. Every time I try to share with someone or put my thoughts into words, I hear myself communicating in these weird phrases and sentences that do not reflect my real feelings at all!

So here is the bullet point version of where I've been lately.

• Began job as Music Coordinator for a school and began to work with teachers
• Realized quickly that I miss working with students
• Applied for a band director job 
• Was not given an interview
• Continued working as Music Coordinator, learned a ton, but reaffirmed that adminstration is not my calling
• Learned of another band director opening
• Began "campainging" for the job
• Learned that my school lost grant funding for the Music Coordinator position
• Became unemployed
• Not concerned as my perfect job would be opening very soon (see above)
• Waited for job to open
• Waited for job to open
• Waited for job to open
• Perfect band director job opens! (see above)
• I am not called for an interview
• Two candidates are interviewed, both are first year teachers. 
• Still unemployed
• Self doubt
• What have I done wrong?
• Perhaps education is not my strength after all.
• Well crap, now what?

It took several days but I finally made peace with the fact school had started and I had no where to go. So I cleaned and organized the basement! I am no longer afraid to go in there to do laundry so I will be forever grateful for that :-)

I got a phone call two days ago asking if I would be interested in teaching part time afternoon general music for a middle school. I have spent the last 48 hours on pinterest and google searching every form of "general-music-middle-school-syllabus-lesson plan" that I can think of. 

It's not a "done deal" by any means. In fact, I already know of a lovely and capable friend who IS trained in general music. She teaches part time in another school and is looking for an afternoon gig (and this might be a perfect fit). 

I have no idea what will transpire in the next week. But I will do my best to talk about it.