Ultra

I've been struggling with this whole marathon thing. I've known from the beginning that I have bitten off more than I can chew. Training has been hard. Hard because I'm forcing my body to do things it has never done before, but also hard because I'm not getting any small victories. At some point I expected 15 miles to be "easy" when compared to 18. Nope. They both stink. In fact, I start spiraling down around mile 10. (Which, ironically, is 2 hrs into running and that is about the time when your glycogen level depletes itself. This science is no joke!) But somehow I'm supposed to keep going more than double that distance?
Anyway...I've been struggling. I want to be happy and excited and hopeful and enjoy the process and I can't seem to do that. I have a great support of other runner friends who are encouraging me constantly, but I still can't shake that dark marathon cloud off my head.

Until today.

It was the most wonderful breakthrough of all breakthroughs. One of my co-workers (who is the cross country coach and a super fast runner himself) was talking to me in the hall this morning. I told him that I ran my 19 miles last Saturday and the best thing I could say about it was, "I didn't die". I also mentioned that I was having a hard time figuring out that whole sodium/potassium balance to keep my legs from cramping. He asked casually, "What was your time?" I hate that question. I especially hate it when fast people ask me that question. And he is really fast. So I sheepishly admitted that my 19 mile time was 3:52. And then he said, "Wow". He didn't say "WOW!" (as in, I am so impressed by this information I have to say WOW!) He said,  "Wow." (as in, I have no idea how to process this so wow is the only word my brain can offer at the moment). I joked that maybe I should just tell people my time and not how far I ran because it would sound more impressive. And then he asked me what I was eating while running and tried to do some nutrition math. And then he said the most glorious thing. He said, "I don't think I can help you. Because you're right. For you, it's more about the time than the miles. You are running times that are more along the lines of an Ultra* and would need the nutrition to reflect that. I don't have experience in this area but I can call some friends and get some advice for you".

Okay people. I know I'm weird but do you know how happy and freeing that sentence made me? I've been under this dark cloud because I just can't catch up with Marathon world. But his statement gave me a sense of power. I'm not running "their" marathon. When their glycogen level dumps out at 2 hours and they are nearing mile 20, I will just be passing 10. While I may not be covering an Ultra distance, I will certainly have an Ultra time. And that makes me grin a little.

*An Ultra is any distance longer than a marathon. These are the hardest hard core of races including 50 milers and 100 milers and the Ironman triathalons.

**Apparently my mom works with a man who is twice my age and training for an Ultra. Crazy.

***In no way do I think that I'm as cool as any person who does an Ultra.